


These Funny Little Secrets

by LaMira1995 (MissTwistedMind)



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Embarrassment, F/M, Friendship, Jokes, M/M, Secrets, Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-23
Updated: 2016-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-28 14:36:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6332968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissTwistedMind/pseuds/LaMira1995
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dorian thinks it's embarrassing.</p>
<p>Bull thinks it's not the end of the world.</p>
<p>The other's just think it's funny.</p>
            </blockquote>





	These Funny Little Secrets

“This is so embarrassing,” Dorian mumbled as he walked down the stairs next to Bull. “They will laugh about me.”

“They won’t, kadan, don’t worry.”

“How do you know?” Dorian reached for his nose, sweeping a finger over the nasal strip, “I look stupid. And they probably heard what has happened by now.”

Bulls tone was still cheerful. “You should be proud of yourself.”

“Yeah,” Dorian said with a snort as he pushed a door open and strode through the hallway, “I’ve never been more pleased than right now.” He stopped in front of the last door, separating the two of them from the dining hall. Bull paused beside him, patient as ever. “I really can’t go in there.”

“Come on now, kadan. This is not the end of the world.” Bull reached for the handle, but Dorian held him back. He looked at the Qunari angrily, but Bull turned his face away quickly to hide his grin. “Please don’t look at me like that with this thing on your nose.”

“Well thank you,” Dorian huffed, both anger and disappointment lacing his voice, “for taking my concerns so seriously.” He heard Bull call out to him once he had pushed past him and though the door, but with his head held high he continued on his way through the dining room. Dorian felt the eyes of many people on him, some even pointing and laughing, but he didn’t stop until he was seated at the table where Inquisitor Neya Lavellan was eating with the rest of her Inner Circle and some of the Bull’s Chargers. Bull flopped down next to him a moment later.

From the moment he had sat down Dorian could tell that all of them were deliberately trying _not_ to look at him. Alright, he didn’t care. He was _totally not_ embarrassed.

Bull slid a plate in front of him, but he really didn’t feel much like eating when he reached for his fork. So Dorian picked at his food for a while, trying to ignore the amused stares from the other tables and the attempted nonchalance of his comrades, until suddenly Sera broke out into laughter across the table. He froze. “I’m sorry,” she said and held her stomach, “but look at him! It looks so stupid!”

“Sera!” Neya chided her quickly, and Dorian gritted his teeth. “It must have hurt. Stop laughing.”

But she couldn’t. “You should have seen it. Just ‘smack’ and then ‘boing’. It looked so funny!”

“Well, I hope it amused you,” he said, mortified, and stood up quickly so he could retreat to the privacy of his own quarters.

Bull’s hand on his own stopped him. “Dorian,” he said, and then “Sera, stop it! It has taken me long enough to get him out of his room again.”

“I’m sorry,” she said again, laughing, and by now Dorian realized she wasn’t the only who couldn’t hold her amusement. Like before, the others wouldn’t look at him, pretending not to snicker while they kept their eyes on their plates.

“Come on, Dorian, please…” Bull rumbled and pulled gently at his hand.

Dorian lowered his gaze and took a deep breath through his mouth. Well, it didn’t matter anymore. News had spread. They would laugh about him whether he was here or not. He flopped back down beside Bull, who slowly released his hand.

One should think he was used to this feeling by now. At least back in Tevinter it hadn’t been his friends laughing about him, and though Sera really tried to stifle her snickering, the embarrassment still stung.

Everyone was quiet, and Neya watched him closely for a moment, before she laid down her fork with a huff. She seemed to contemplate something before she began to speak. “You know what I hate about Orlesians? These masks.” From across the table Josephine started laughing all of the sudden, and for a moment Dorian thought he was the reason for her amusement as well, until Neya shot her a half-hearted glare. “Only Josephine and I know this story,” she said and returned her attention to him, “I made her swear never to tell it anybody; and I’m only telling it now because you’re feeling so miserable.” Her cheeks reddened, while Josie attempted to hide her laughter with a napkin before her mouth.

“Oh, that’s going to be interesting,” Varric said and straightened his back. The dwarf was probably making notes of her story in his head so he could write it down later.

Neya licked her lips nervously. “So, Josie had invited this noble from Val Foret who wanted to meet me in person before signing his trade agreement with the Inquisition.” Josie squealed, and apologized a second later with tears in her eyes. Dorian had never seen her so relaxed as in this moment. “Anyway, I was in a hurry and didn’t have the time to meet up with Josephine before so she could tell me something about this person. When I entered the hall, they were already there, and with this huge mask I could only judge by the voice. We talked a lot, the dinner went well, the Madame was nice, I told _her_ how good she looked; she even signed the contract… it was only after she had left that Josephine told me,” Neya got even redder, “that this Madame was actually a Monsieur.” The whole table broke into laughter, and even Dorian cracked a smile. Neya glanced at him. “And I don’t mean the type that had been a woman at one point in his life.” The laughter didn’t subside, and she looked in the round with a pout. “His voice was so high! How should I have known?”

Bull gave Dorian a gentle shove. “See? Every one of us has had embarrassing moments in their lives.”

Neya shook her head. “The worst thing was that he didn’t say _anything_ when I addressed him as Madame.” By now Josephine had a really hard time not falling off her chair. “In any case, from then on I made sure to know who I am dealing with.” She shrugged her shoulders, and gave him a small smile.

He felt definitely better now, but the embarrassment was still there. He looked at the plate in front of him, and at least some of his appetite had returned by now. The table had calmed down a little, of course except for Josephine. Dorian heaved a sigh. “At least it was your decision to tell us about this. I mean I appreciate it, but it wasn’t as if I had a choice to be the laughingstock of Skyhold.”

She made a sad smile and opened her mouth to say something, but Cassandra cleared her throat first. “When I was still in training for the Seekers…” she began, and everyone got quiet to listen to her story. She lowered her gaze; obviously she didn’t like to talk about this any more than Dorian did. She coughed slightly again. “When I was still in training, we had these dummies much like we have here, so we could practice our fighting. I was very good at it, and many of the men hated me for it.” Dorian tried to picture a younger Cassandra, still wet behind her ears but determined as ever. “I… actually liked to show off a little, so I tried out some new moves on the dummies when the others were practicing with each other.”

“That’s a completely new side of our dear Seeker,” Varric exclaimed loudly, and Cass made an attempt to kick him under the table.

“Shut up, dwarf!”

Neya slammed her fist on the table. “No violence at the dining table!” Cullen grinned next to her, and when he put his arm on the back of her chair, she winked at him before turning back to Cassandra. “Please continue.”

Cass glared at Varric, then she rolled her eyes. “The training dummies were positioned on the edge of some sort of slope, so technically I could only practice with my fellow apprentices in my back. I wanted them to see, though, so I used the other side of the dummy. With the slope behind me.” The others started giggling, and when Cassandra’s gaze found Dorian’s, she made a face. “I think we all know where this is going. The blade got stuck at one of the movements, and when I tried to pull it out, I fell down the slope behind me.”

“Oh, this isn’t so bad,” Cullen said with a huge grin.

Cassandra darted a glance at him, but lowered her eyes again a second later. “Well, there were rose bushes growing at the bottom of the hill. After I climbed back up, with scratches all over my face,” Dorian touched the nasal strip in sympathy, “I discovered that not only my pants had been torn, but also…” She took a breath to finish the sentence, but Sera beat her to it.

“The breach!” she burst into laughter and slapped her thigh. Now even Dorian had to laugh around the mouthful of pork. “You know, because it was a breach in her smalls and she also called for the Inquisition!”

Blackwall hid his face in his palm. “Yes, Sera, we understand.” The whole air was filled with giggles and laughter, and even Cassandra was smiling sheepishly.

Sera wasn’t finished yet. “Maybe our Lady Inquisitor should have been there, so she could shove her hand-“

"Sera!" both Cassandra and Neya interrupted her. It got even louder in the hall, and after the initial shock they both joined in. Dorian choked on his food for a moment, but Bull was quick to pat his back.

“I had to walk back to my quarters with my hands covering… you know. So this was the last time a bragged with my skills.”

“Fuck,” Varric swore, and wiped a tear from his eyes. “That’s too good to be true.”

Cassandra pointed at him. “I swear, if this appears in one of your books…”

He held up his hands. “No way, Seeker.” She breathed out heavily, and gave him a nod. “That’s a story that has to be _told_ ,” Dorian heard him mumble when her attention wasn’t on him anymore.

“So,” she looked to Dorian, “I couldn’t decide either.”

They exchanged a smile. “Thank you,” he said, and really meant it.

“So what about you, Chief?” Krem called from the far end of the table. Dorian glanced at Bull, who had a lopsided grin plastered on his face.

“I’m not ashamed of anything.”

“What about Montfort?”

The Bull’s smile faltered a little. “That’s not that funny.”

“Oh, I would disagree,” Krem said with a wink.

Dorian turned to the lieutenant. “What happened in Montfort?”

“ _Cremissius_ ,” Bull warned, but Krem obviously didn’t care.

“He got stuck in this long archway,” he burst into laughter.

Dorian raised an eyebrow at Bull, who in turn rolled his eye. “We were riding through the city, when we came to this small gateway. I forgot my horns and got stuck. That’s it.”

“ _Nonono_!” Krem shook his head, still laughing. “We were all riding in a row, and he was leading us through the city while talking to me, so he didn’t look up front. We came to the archway, and I was all like ‘Chief!’” Dalish and Rocky were giggling along with the lieutenant. “So he turns his head to look what’s happening, and there’s this long screeching noise, and suddenly his head was stuck there, but the horse kept walking, and the Chief was all like ‘Oh shit!” We jumped off our horses to stop his, and it looked so funny the way he was hanging there with his ass still in the saddle.” Bull gave a huff, while the Inner Circle fell back into laughter. “The best part was, that this arch was connecting two major routes though the city, and nobody could pass through as long as he was hanging there. It took us so long to get him out, and by the end of the day everyone in the area knew ‘The Bull’s Chargers’.”

Dorian really tried to hide his amusement. Unlike everyone else on the table.

“That must have been the topic of many conversations,” Neya giggled. “’Did you hear that the Qunari are barricading Orlais?’” she said in a fake voice.

“Har-de-fucking-har, Boss,” Bull chucked and shook his head.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Varric chipped in, “With all the crap hanging around in Orlais, they might have even considered him decoration.”

They went on like this for a while longer, and the serenity of this moment seemed to inspire everyone to share a secret with the rest of the group.

“During my Templar training, they found me and one of my colleagues practicing dancing with each other,” Cullen admitted.

“I was singing really loudly in my quarters while my mother was throwing a banquet. Eventually she came into my room, telling me that I could be heard even in the dining room,” Josephine revealed.

“When I still wasn’t used to someone sleeping beside me, I nearly hit Cullen over the head with a stick when he came to bed long after me because I thought someone was about to murder me,” Neya said with a grin.

“I tried to hit on Hawke when I was really drunk because I thought she was the barmaid,” Varric delivered sheepishly.

“And I once pissed into the barrel full of ale in a tavern.” Everything got quiet, and all eyes were on Blackwall. “Oh seriously?” he said and tilted his head. “You really think I would do this?”

“See,” Bull said after Sera had hit Blackwall over the head and everyone had returned to sharing secrets with each other. “I told you they wouldn’t mind.”

Dorian’s answer was a smile, and he reached for Bull’s hand under the table. “Thank you…”

When he looked back into the round, he realized Neya was looking at him. Her expression was full of tenderness when she spoke. “And you know what happened to Dorian?” she asked loudly to gain the attention of the others, “After defeating a snooty soldier who thought a mage couldn’t win against him in a sparring match, and giving him a speech afterwards about how nothing could overpower him this easily… Dorian ran face first into a flagpole and broke his nose.” Everyone broke out into laughter, and even though he felt his cheeks redden, Dorian had to admit that it sounded funny the way she told it. “Stupid things happen,” she continued after the noise had quietened down a bit. “Some part of you will probably always be ashamed of what has happened, and people will definitely laugh about it. But every one of us has experienced something similar, and we all know the feeling. But that’s life. You’re not going to die from it.”

He returned her smile, and squeezed Bull’s hand gently. “Especially not with friends like you.” He raised his mug into the air. “To the best people I have known in all my life.” They raised their mugs in agreement. “And to embarrassing secrets!”

**Author's Note:**

> So, something slightly similar to Neya's story happened to me yesterday, and I was so embarrassed that I wished the ground would open and swallow me up. Eventually I decided to write a story about it, and while my best friend and I came up with ideas for what could have happened to the characters, I realized that mistakes happen, and that every one of us has probably a moment which he or she is deeply embarrassed about.
> 
> So maybe you want to share your most embarrassing moment down in the comments, so Dorian (and all the others who have problems with dealing with shame) can feel a little better? :D
> 
> Anyway, thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
